How to attract what you want (and leave room for magic!)

how to attract what you want (and leave room for magic!)

Today I'm sharing one of my favorite tips for attracting what you most desire into your life (whether it's a romantic partner, a new job...or anything really!).

It's short and sweet: remember to focus on feeling over form. Direct your energy into how you will feel when you get what you want, instead of getting hung up on outward specifics of what that looks like.



Our brains respond to images, so yes, tools like vision boards can be hugely helpful. I'm all for them, and I use a vision board myself to inspire and motivate me to think bigger.

Yet I've noticed how easy it is for people (myself included) to get attached to exactly what we want a particular outcome to look like. And when we do that, we're essentially putting blinders on and missing out on incredible people and opportunities right in front of our faces.

Beyond that, in gripping so tightly to our own specifics, we also leave very little room for the Universe to work its magic.

If we keep how we want to feel top of mind instead, and loosen our grip on things looking a certain way, we create space to be pleasantly surprised and receive blessings beyond our imagination.

If I've learned anything from my own experiences with surrendering control, it's that my own plans are always small potatoes compared to what's coming. 



You might be sitting here thinking, "that all sounds nice, but how do I actually release that control and focus on feeling over form?"

I'm so glad you asked!

Let's start with a common real-world example: finding a romantic partner!

I always encourage my clients who are just starting to date to stay open to their ideal person arriving in a different form than they expect, even if they're convinced they have a "type."

Getting attached to physical traits (i.e. tall, dark, and handsome) or professions (i.e. a doctor) overlooks one of the most important factors of all: how do you feel around this person?

I mean, if you're going to be around this person for most of your life, you want to find someone who makes you feel amazing, right?!



To give you a better idea of what letting your feelings guide you looks like, I'll share an example from my own life.

By the time I was ready to start dating again, I was willing to try something new in order to attract a partner who was vastly different from the other men I previously dated. 

My former method of trying to control every part of the process hadn't worked out so well in the past, so I figured, "Why not give this whole 'feeling over form' thing a shot?"

In short, I let my heart take the lead. I made the conscious choice to be open to whatever form my future partner came in; I didn't have a particular career, race, height, background, type, or look in mind. But I did know exactly how I wanted to feel around this person:

I wanted to feel a sense of ease in our connection, like it was natural to be myself around them and like they truly understood me.

I wanted to feel warmth, humor, lightness, and positive energy -- the same kind I felt around my best girlfriends. I wanted to laugh often and feel goofy and playful around them.

I wanted to be intellectually stimulated, have endless conversations and never run out of things to talk about.

I wanted to feel energized by our time together, like my cup was full.

I came up with a whole list of feelings and the dynamics that would inspire them. Then, I kept a few of the main ones (ease, warmth, connection) top of mind as my own personal dating compass.

Doing so proved to be hugely helpful in weeding out people who weren't a long-term fit. Even if someone was attractive or had a great job, it didn't matter if those main feelings weren't there for me.

I also didn't feel the need to force anything (like I might've in the past when I was trying to control the situation), because this time I trusted that there was someone out there who would feel like a perfectly aligned match.

Sure enough, Will had me cracking up within seconds of our first phone call, and as our conversation continued I couldn't believe what was happening. I felt like I was reuniting with a best friend...except I also had a huge crush on him! Thankfully, the feeling was mutual 😃

This wasn't a fluke though. I didn't just get lucky and stumble across my person. I was intentional about the process, and that process included focusing on feeling over form.

I've since guided many clients, friends, and even Will himself through the same process in order to attract something they want into their lives. It's really fun witnessing what unfolds!



If you're game to try it, here's the quick how-to:

1) Think of something/someone you want to attract (i.e. a new job)

2) Come up with a feeling you want to experience when you get what you want (i.e. feeling fulfilled at my new job)

3) Describe a situation where you would experience that feeling upon getting what you want to attract, without getting too nitty-gritty in terms of details (i.e. I'm feeling extremely fulfilled at my new job. I come home from work knowing I made good use of my time and energy today, and made a worthwhile contribution to the world.)

4) Repeat steps 2 and 3 as many times as you'd like.

5) Stay open to receiving something even better than what you can currently imagine for yourself.

I mean, why not at least try it out? You have nothing to lose, and oh-so-much to gain!


The best is yet to come,



P.S. I'm feeling inspired to share more posts about romantic relationships and manifesting what you want in general. Are you interested in hearing more about either of those things, or something different altogether?

I'd love to hear from you, so feel free to leave a comment below or message me privately here and share any thoughts or suggestions. I want to make sure I'm writing about the topics that are most helpful to you!