It’s officially been one year since Will and I got engaged!
Here we are right after he proposed to me on some cliffs overlooking the ocean at sunset last July:
I can honestly say that is the best year I’ve ever had! In addition to planning our wedding, we’ve enjoyed traveling, business-building, and settling more fully into life in San Diego. It’s been a year of growth, adventures, and plenty of lazy weekends at the beach.
Now we’re less than a year out from our wedding, and I’m more relaxed than ever.
Wait, what? How can that be?! Shouldn’t planning a wedding be stressful? Overwhelming? Super time-consuming?
That's certainly what I expected. Before planning our wedding, I thought the process would be exhausting. In fact, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go through all the hoopla of putting this one fabulous day together. The whole thing seemed like a lot to take on, and there were so many other ways I wanted to spend my time and energy.
There had to be another way to go about it all...
THERE’S ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY
Thankfully, I’ve learned that there is always another way.
You just have to be intentional in creating it for yourself!
This is exactly what Will and I decided to do: we set out to create the least-stressful wedding experience possible!
The process would be easy.
The planning would be fun.
And the outcome would be just what we wanted: a fun, meaningful, and joy-filled day that truly feels like us.
YOU HAVE A CHOICE
I see it come up again and again in my own life, and with clients too: it’s so easy to forget we have a choice in how we go about...anything, really!
We let our assumptions, cultural traditions, and other people’s preferences or opinions dictate our next steps.
The planning and preparing becomes filled with “should’s” and feelings of obligation.
Without even realizing it, we miss out on making the process (and the end result) something we enjoy, and an authentic reflection of ourselves.
HOW TO ENJOY THE PROCESS
Slow down enough at the outset to ask yourself:
1) “what is my ideal end result?”
2) “how do I want the process to feel?”
Trust your own inner wisdom around this, and you are bound to head in the right direction – not to mention save yourself precious time and energy!
Start with the path of least resistance, and focus on one small step at a time.
Set an intention to enjoy each step versus just complete it.
Plan for plenty of opinions along the way.
Check in with yourself and your preferences often.
Remember what you want.
Let go of any stories of things having to be a certain way (they don’t).
Trust that you know what’s best for you.
Choose to view the process as enjoyable, because whether or not it's fun is entirely up to you!
For our wedding, the path of least resistance looked like a small, private destination wedding – one that allowed us to choose a package, make very few decisions, and get married barefoot on a beach surrounded by close friends and family.
We also decided on a long engagement so we’d have plenty of time to plan, save up, iron out any details, and have fun with it all!
Since we’ve been able to space out projects and planning over a longer time frame, nothing feels rushed, and each little step seems like a mini celebration. We get to live it all up and enjoy the sweetness of being engaged for a while.
This way of going about things isn’t for everyone, but that’s exactly the point I want to make here: it’s not about how anyone else would do it. Because other people’s preferences will simply create an experience that they like, which isn’t necessarily what you like too.
I want you to think about what you want the end result and process to look, feel, and be like.
The best place you can start, always, is by checking in with yourself and getting clear on your vision.
Of course you can ask for advice and get suggestions. But, do me a favor and tune inward first. Trust me: your future self will thank you!
To doing it all on your terms,