Here's the tricky thing about our intuition: sometimes it rings the loudest when delivering information we really don't want to hear.
Yet this information is the truth, and it's always more valuable than any advice or insights we could glean outside of ourselves. It's also worth noting that what's real for you doesn't go away, no matter how hard you try to suppress it.
Pull up your list of 2018 resolutions, or write out an unfiltered list of things you've been thinking about doing this next year. Once you've got that, take an honest look at what you've written, and identify the tone underneath it. How are you talking about yourself and your actions? Is there any part of you that is coming from the place of needing to fix yourself? Any part of you that doesn't feel like you are good or worthy enough right now? If so, I'm gonna have you pause right there.
You're taking a big leap of faith and putting yourself out there. And the unknown awaits. Before the event itself has even begun you feel yourself starting to plan for the worst-case scenario. What will I do if it doesn't work out? What's my back-up plan?
There's nothing wrong with some healthy preparedness. But at what point does planning become obsessive, fear-inducing, and just plain draining?
I'd realized I wasn't happy in my current situation and needed to make a big change. Ugh. There's never a convenient time for those kind of moments of clarity. I'd attempted to avoid this realization for a while by staying busy, yet my inner voice was relentless and only became louder as I felt more exhausted. Eventually, the message was undeniable. Oh my god, what are you doing with your life? This is not sustainable. You need to get out.
It’s easy to halt dreaming out of fear of getting “ahead of yourself,” jinxing things, or feeling extra hurt if they don’t work out as planned. You can trick yourself into thinking think that if you’re not invested, you'll care less about how things unfold.
Yet the more you can move past the fears and what-if’s and lean into the goodness of your experience in any moment, the more likely you are to attract positive things into your life.
It’s okay to feel everything you're feeling. It’s okay if none of it makes sense. It’s okay if you don’t feel like yourself. It’s okay if you start crying in line at the grocery store. It’s okay if you feel angry. It’s okay if you feel a bit of everything, or nothing at all. Let your feelings — whatever they are — be okay.
Growing up, my dad told me that people are only able to be “as happy as they can stand to be.” I remember noticing that people naturally varied in their capacity to take in the good around them. At the same time, this ability can be learned ― and stretched. This is great news, because it means that anyone has the ability to become more joyful, grateful, expansive versions of themselves…should they choose to do so. Fast forward decades later, and my coach taught me about the power of checking in with yourself and asking, “how good can I stand it?"
